When I Look at You
by TheShadowsInMySoul
Summary: When Bellamy looks at Clarke, he looks at her like she is his life, his love, his universe. If only she'd realize it.


**When Bellamy looks at Clarke, he looks at her like she is his life, his love, his universe. If only she'd realize it.**

Clarke and Bellamy had only just found the guns when Bellamy insisted on trying them out.

"Ready to be a bad ass, Princess?" He questioned, picking up the nearest gun. Clarke looked uneasy, probably not comfortable with the fact that they could hurt someone.

"Alright," she sighed, and Bellamy grinned. He passed her the gun and told her how to stand.

"Legs shoulder width apart, arms up, hold the gun against your shoulder... No like this," Bellamy tried to explain, but Clarke just looked lost. Not feeling overly patient, Bellamy pulled Clarke into his chest and adjusted how she held the gun.

"Now move your legs a little further apart," he whispered in her ear. As Clarke slowly adjusted, Bellamy inhaled deeply as she lightly pressed against him. She smelled of earth, of dirt and sweat and smoke, but there was also a scent, slightly like vanilla, that seemed distinctly Clarke.

He could feel the sudden shift in the air, and Clarke turned her head to look Bellamy in the face. Bellamy could feel her breath on his face, his cheeks, his lips. He could feel himself leaning down towards her face. Bellamy captured her lips with his, and turned her around without breaking their kiss.

It seemed like minutes, but really was only seconds, before Clarke started to respond. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and deepened the kiss. Bellamy lifted Clarke up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist-

"Bellamy? Hey, what's wrong?" Bellamy jerked away from Clarke, surprised but not entirely at his own thoughts.

"Um, yeah, like that." He tried to shake off his nervous state and watched Clarke fire at the target.

Bellamy handed off Mel to the medical crew and turned to his sister.

"It's fantastic to see you, O. God I missed you so much." Octavia smiled at her brother, and then her smile widened. Bellamy wasn't sure why until it hit him. Literally.

A blur of blonde hair and pale skin was all he saw before he was ensnared into a death grip. Clarke had her arms around his neck, almost choking him, but he didn't really care.

Bellamy wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning his head into her shoulder. Bellamy believed that she was gone, that his Princess was dead. He thought that she had been taken by grounders, and torqued to death, or sold as a slave to another village that lacked a healer.

When Bellamy finally pulled back, only vaguely hearing his sisters comment, he looked at her. Really looked at her. There were cuts littering her face, large dark red and purple lines that were slightly swelling.

She was curling in on her arm, and that immediately made him worry. Did she get hurt? Badly, or was it just another cut or bruise? There were too many possibilities on the ground.

"Where's Finn?"

And of course that broke him out of his thoughts.

"Looking for you."

It was the night after they escaped camp through Ravens Gate, and Bellamy couldn't sleep a wink. All he could do was stare. At his little sister, who he thought was gone, half way to the ocean. At Clarke, his partner, his anchor, his conscience. They were both safe.

"Bell, you need to sleep," Octavia told him, sitting up from the semi comfortable pile of dirt that she had been resting on for the past few hours. Bellamy was supposed to have woken one of them to take over watch, but he couldn't wake them up from their peaceful, well, kind of peaceful dreams. Now Bellamy suspects that Octavia was just pretending to sleep for his benefit.

"I'm fine," Bellamy reassured, rubbing his eyes and adjusting the way he sat so that he was more comfortable. The fire was nicely fuelled, and they had a stoke pile of wood, so Bellamy wasn't sure what else he could use as an excuse to himself to stay awake.

"Bellamy, you look look like you haven't slept since Clarke went Missing and Lincoln saved me. I'm here, we're both here. Just go take a rest. I'll keep my sword drawn and I will nudge you before I leave if I go investigate strange noises," Octavia told him, standing up and grabbing her brothers arm before leading him to a spot beside Clarke.

She then sits where he had previously been and pulls her sword out of the sheath. Giving Bellamy a pointed look, Octavia settle in.

It only took Bellamy a few minutes to fall asleep, and his little sister smiles softly._ Once a protector always a protector._

Clarke and Bellamy walked side by side to the grounder village that Finn had massacred. They were silent, not talking but still communicating with pointed looks and the brushing of arms and hands.

Bellamy had been worrying about Clarke since Lexa had announced the on,y way to save the Ark people was to sacrifice Finn. He had worried that she would break down, that she would actually try and kill the Commander like Raven had suggested.

Instead of doing any of the expected reactions, she walked up to Spacewalker, kissed him, and pulled back. Only after Raven screamed had he realized that Clarke had used the knife to kill Finn.

It was a mercy killing, but it would still haunt her forever. Now, he was worried she would break down like she had before seeing the Commander. Glancing at her face once more, Bellamy tried to find any sign of weakness, any sign that she could be breaking and hurting on the inside, like he knew she was.

When he looked in her eyes, all Bellamy saw was cold, icy eyes staring out at the world. And it terrified him. It seemed like the woman he loved have been killed along with Finn. Maybe this was what she needed, though. To deal with the feelings on the inside first and then work through her problems with the rest of the world. If only the weight of her emotions wasn't crushing her.

"It's worth the risk."

With those words, a piece of Bellamy's heart broke. Clarke had become increasingly... Cold since her meeting with Lexa, and it scared Bellamy a little bit. What had happened to Clarke, what she had done, had finally caught up with her.

Bellamy could remember when he found out that he was the cause of 320 deaths on the Ark, and his reaction had been typical. Bellamy lashed out, becoming the ass hole that everyone knew and loved to hate. Secretly of course, no one would want to get on his bad side.

Clarke was anything but typical. She was beautiful, smart, witty, and cunning. She managed to get everyone on her side with one tiny speech the day that the grounders attacked them, even after Bellamy had expressed his feelings on the subject.

"I have them an easy choice," she had said, but his Princess never made the easy choice. She was prepared to abandon their home, all the people they had buried in the ground, and never look back. Clarke was ready to possibly leave the radio set up behind, and cut off all contact with the ark.

That had been the brave choice then, and her choices now, even though still courageous, stung. Bellamy hoped that by the time he returned with their friends, she would have thawed a little. Or at least have thawed her heart a little bit.

Bellamy didn't like her choices, he didn't have to, but he loved Clarke Griffin and he had no choice but to bow down to his Princess' wishes.


End file.
